I don’t think that many people are as awkward or as clumsy as me. But I’m pretty sure that we have a bit of awkwardness in us or at least we have all had our fair share of awkward moments.
I’m open about my awkwardness and embarrassing moments because I’m sure that anyone who knows me well knows that I can be a bit ditsy. I remember when I was 18 and someone called me ditsy (I’d never been called that before, to my face anyway!) and I was so offended. Nowadays if you don’t call me ditsy, do you even know me?
(My favourite story is when I went on holiday and the Thomas Cook reps were coming around the rooms to meet everyone. They left their clipboard in my room and under my name it had “From Kent. Ditsy”. Luckily I thought it was hilarious! When I went back to my room later the clipboard had disappeared and it was never mentioned!)
Anyway, so my latest article for Metro.co.uk (and what you can read below!) is the struggles you may face if you are as awkward as me.
If you are an awkward person, you’ll understand just how difficult daily life is.
Basic human interactions are difficult as you live in fear that you’ll mess it up, or worry about what that person will think of you.
Don’t worry, you’re not alone! It’s good to be different. And who wants to breeze through life care free anyway…
Here are 20 struggles you will face as an awkward person because, admit it, we all have a bit of awkwardness in us.
1. Lifts are an absolute nightmare
That fear when you see the lift stopping at the next floor.
2. ‘Sorry’ is your most used vocab
You apologise to everything about everything.
Even that chair you just bumped into.
3. Phone calls freak you out
Just email me or text me?
You’ll probably see your phone ringing, wait for it to end then text the person asking why they called. (Ooops, giving away my secrets)
4. You are a professional at awkward small talk though
And really good at saying stupid things like, ‘so, do you come here often,’ to the person sitting next to you at the doctor’s.
5. Greetings are the worst
Do you shake hands? Hug? Air kiss? Kiss one cheek or two?
6. You instantly regret everything (or most things) you say
And spend the rest of your day (or life) worrying about it.
7. You’ve probably woken up suddenly at random and started panicking
And it’s because you remembered something you did or said back in 2008.
8. You worry about everything you do
‘Will they think I’m weird?’ runs through your head about a hundred times a day
9. You always make up new words in a conversation because you’ve panicked
10. You order takeaways to avoid human interaction
But even just communicating with the delivery guy is terrifying.
11. You always worry you’ll do the wrong thing
But that just makes you worry too much, so you end up doing it wrong as a result.
12. Never risk a high five
But if you do and it goes right, then you should genuinely be proud of yourself.
13. You hate bumping into people you know
You hate it so much that you avoid certain places, just in case.
14. You suck at flirting
Let’s just say, it’s not your forte.
15. You’ve probably said ‘you too’ to airport staff when they said have a good trip
Don’t worry, we’ve all been there.
16. You’re naturally clumsy
It’s what you’re best at.
Can you put it on a CV under skills?
17. People assume you’re horrible or snobby
But really, you’re just shy and avoid interaction so you don’t embarrass yourself.
18. You often pretend to be on your phone to avoid eye contact
Your phone is your best friend.
What would you do without pretend texting or phone calls?
19. You never know how to stand or hold your body without looking awkward
(Like in every photo taken of me, including blog photos haha)
It shouldn’t be this hard, should it?
20. You’ll think you’ve finally mastered life, only to find out your skirt is tucked in your knickers
Awkward (This happened to me recently in Notting Hill, a postman had to come and tell me. FML)
Example of an awkward moment: When your sock disappears into your shoe during an outfit shoot revealing your milk bottle legs.
What I’m Wearing:
Coat, Trousers & Boots – Zara
Top – Missguided
Fishnet socks – ASOS
The original article featured on Metro.co.uk.